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For most of my relationship with God, I struggled to hear His words on certain things – especially, those things that I am absolutely itching to get answers for. Sometimes, this impatience carries on to the inability to understand what I hear from God at all, and then all this (rather unnecessary) confusion and worry about what God might be saying to me.
I confessed to a friend, “Sometimes, I pray that when God gives me an answer, or His word, that he does it in such a way that it’s so undeniable for me. Or that I won’t be able to twist it, or inject my own meanings. I just ask Him to make it so clear that even I would understand.”
How funny it is when I realize that I’m the only one with miscommunication problems.
Sometimes I ask, “Does he really listen to what I’m saying? I don’t understand what he’s getting at. I wish he could just tell me what is the game plan.” Which, of course, does not happen like that. Sometimes I utter prayers when I sorely need or want a certain outcome, but not for other things, the less important things. But all of these stems from my actual knowledge of who God is, as my Father, which, admittedly, had to go deeper.
Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
Recently, I had an experience in which God totally convinced me that He listens when I call on Him, and that He’ll answer, and He certainly did. For all of the times in which I just wished for something and it did happen, it was totally a funny thing to think that I was only fully, wholeheartedly convinced again of that fact at that moment; that God as a Father was present, listening, lovingly communicating.
It goes to show that I still have a lot to learn in communicating with God, and trusting Him to listen and reciprocating that by really listening back. And it’s not even about prayers and petitions, requests that I wish would get answered, but in nurturing a relationship with Him.
So that’s His part. Now, how do I communicate back?