What Do You Mean, Godly Relationships?

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I was a product of the so-called Christian non-dating.

It was exactly on the day that I became a Christian where I had read I Kissed Dating Goodbye — and in a rather curious (first) experience, I felt the heavy burden of a resolution stirring up inside of me the moment I read about Joshua Harris’ views on dating to glorify God.

I didn’t understand completely what “glorifying God” meant at that moment. I had no idea how hurtful it was to put down something you really cherished in order to pursue God. But that night, I broke up with my boyfriend, asking him, like for confirmation, if our relationship was pleasing to God.

I haven’t been in a relationship since. And I am totally fine about it.

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I Won’t Ask For You

[Though this may have started, on the onset, for a certain awesome person, I figured that it applies, I think, to all awesome people we may have met.

Many ladies write to their future husbands; I write to that one who is NOT. But good and godly men deserve respect and a covering of prayer.]

I never asked for you.

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I Keep Forgetting

…that this world values different things than the ones You value. While this world is bent on yelling out things like justice (without empathy), money (without charity), and rightness (without humility), You always chose the world’s loser side. You never look cool in this world taking the humble stance – nobody ever looked cool kneeling in front of a much less deserving person, more so washing that person’s feet. But ‘cool’ didn’t save people. ‘Cool’ didn’t die and lived again and redeemed a supposedly irreversible eternity of punishment. Humility did. Sincerity did. Love did.

Another thing I realized, people who are prepared to hate everything you say, will hate anything you say. I am learning not to take offense with people’s less than stellar/respectful/even intelligent comments, because, hey, what for? I only feel the start of a grim piece of work, for a future that’s ever changing. Funny how technology made everything more removed and desensitized.

When you give your life to Christ, the world becomes grimmer and darker; God didn’t say ‘sunshine and rainbows’. The world becomes cruel. But the great thing is, sunshine and rainbows are at the finish line. Forever.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
 
John 16:33

 

 

Under the Knife

“A woman is like a machine, it gets to a certain age where you have to fix it.”

Well, that was infuriating. My dad and I hung out post-family dinner watching TV, and the show we landed on talked about whether or not to let a woman/wife get plastic surgery. My dad had been bemused by the number of facial expressions I used.

Frankly, I don’t understand the drive. I DO understand that some days, women really just feel like they’re Ugly. I think I’ve obsessed two full weeks over the wrinkles that started appearing under my eyes, only to give up mid-regimen because I got bored and honestly, who cares? The niggling feeling of something that shouldn’t be there (lines) or something not looking the way it did before (lines, a taut face, chests) is an obsession in itself, and a growing number of girls today find the default answer to be plastic surgery. Even if I don’t wake up feeling and looking like a goddess everyday, I don’t think I’m a “machine” that needs “fixing” or an “upgrade”. (And here we go with the greatest peeve of my existence, objectification.)

While I don’t have any good and insightful things to say to encourage women to be more confident (and stop treating themselves like cars, heh), I can only imagine being forty years old, husband and kids and all, and having this question loom over me: should you or should you not. But the better question would be: is this what I’d say to my future kids? Can I honestly encourage them to think they are beautiful while deliberating PS? How about now, what do I say to my eight year old niece, to my seventeen year old cousin? I’d tell them that of all things having a good heart matters yet I’d set up a model of going to great lengths to make the packaging pretty too?

That’s not the legacy I’d want to leave my younger family members with, to treat beauty like a commodity, or a car accessory. Why shouldn’t I be confident with how God made me? Why should I let society or my own vanity dictate how God saw me when He molded me?

Just my (pretty long) two cents. I don’t ever want to get to 40 feeling like I need to fix my face like it was broken to begin with!

I stopped writing.

In recent months I’ve been thinking of getting back to it, after months and months of not blogging anymore, not even posting on Tumblr, what with all the hectic reqts and endless reading for boards. But I remembered how I loved to write and seemingly how my friends liked reading what I write too (very humbling, thank you), and for quite a time deliberated if I’m doing this regularly again. One thing, I don’t have much to write. Another, the words don’t come as freely as they used to, cheesy as that may sound.

But today I came across some of my old comments on random stuff on the internet and realized I probably should give this a little bit more time off. In the past years I’ve learned so much of the power of words that was ultimately the reason why I gave blogging a much deserved time out. It’s not that I couldn’t write. It’s that I can and won’t, because it’s prudent this way, for deeper insight than having nothing to say. I used to write for myself and revel in that. I realized how irresponsible that could be. And seeing my Disqus merged I could say I am not very proud of the things I say sometimes, even in Twitter, which ultimately led to me deleting some of my old stuff.:)) Having Twitter definitely taught me to exercise wisdom in 140 characters. God is good. His outpouring love teaches me that there has to be something more substantial for me to use my writing for.

One day probably I’ll write again with better insight and wisdom and hopefully making something that will add to other people’s life & journey also and ultimately bring God glory. Right now this is the best I can do. Probably nobody really cares, haha, but I’d like to look back on this and see it like a bookmark or a folded page. God’s not done. I’m happy so far with what He’s taught me.

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. – Proverbs 25:11

EDIT: Takes quite a bit to shut me up, but I’m glad I’ve learned that now. If there’s anything I would like to not shut up about though is the love of God. I’ll probably need a new better sounding url too.