The Dangers of Overthinking.

pexels-photo-536021.jpeg

I wasted thirty minutes.

Thirty minutes of life that I can’t take back, because of worry. Thirty minutes that jumped to tomorrow, to the next week, to the next month, to the worst conclusions as I thought about the things I may have failed to do, last week.

Continue reading

Even the Little Pieces

streets-shoes-urban-decay

Photo from Pexels.com

 

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.

– John 15:9

Sometimes, I find the irony in my own words.

I was speaking to a friend about God’s faithfulness and grace that He can take even the smallest of our ego, or know the most petty thoughts and lies we believe in and address them. We both agreed that as a Father, God’s love is so overwhelming that He bothers even with those little details.

Not a minute after that, a thought passed through my mind. In that case, why do I bother keeping the smallest, most pathetic disobedience to myself; or withholding the confession of a bothersome sin?

Shame, I breathed out to myself.

Yet God never uses His voice to shame, I countered.

With an inward sigh, I shut the voice in my head with the next thought: With some things, I would always feel shame; even if God never once shamed me.

Continue reading

What Have You Got to Lose?

“For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property.  To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away.  He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more.  So also he who had the two talents made two talents more.  But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money.

Continue reading

That Ringing Bell

He is with me. He is with me. He is with me.

When I feel I can’t hold it in any longer, or when I walk an extra mile home; when days pass and I go through in a daze;

When I can barely listen because my own head is filled with noise, when I can’t hear because I drown out life with songs I barely understand;

When I scream on the inside and I would rather not speak, for fear of releasing a dam of untold secrets; when my mind is crowding out love and generosity and sympathy because of my fixation on my worries;

When I only engage in shallow things, refusing to go deep, refusing to think; when I’m tired of thinking,

He is with me.

I get a thought that He walks closely behind me, quietly surveying my thoughts. Quietly negating those lies. Quietly holding me close, when things get a little harder and there’s no room to lock in silent anguish.

I get a tiny warm feeling somewhere at my core, that amidst the noise that surround me and the noise that I make, a piercing warm light like the sun through the cracks. He’s here, He’s close, my thoughts are not hidden, my heart is examined. The cold that envelops my mind in the disappointments I’ve started to lean on; slowly melt, slowly, ever so slowly.

And His presence is like a tiny sound, barely imperceptible through all the walls put up, yet for a brief moment more real than anything in reality;

He is with me.